I totally just wanted to just crawl in a hole yesterday. Today during naptime I picked up my Bible to do my daily reading. Man, lately ever time I have taken time to try out this new Bible reading method, S.O.A.P, I have really been encouraged. God uses a verse to speak directly to my heart. So here is my SOAP journal entry today.
S- the scripture was Psalms 43:5- “Why are you downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for i will yet praise him, my savior and my God.”
O- My observation: the author David was human just like us. David was bummed often.
A-(application) This was so me yesterday. I was just in a funky mood that I could not shake. I just had a serious chip on my shoulder. It started after lunch. I couldnt really explain it just felt crappy. I was not sure if it was spiritual. 9:15p.m- I had enough, crying several times through out my day(of course no one knowing- slipping into the bathroom to do it). I was mad, bitter at things that i thought i resolved in my heart. It was just odd, hard to explain because i have so much to celebrate and be thankful for but just in a sucky mood. So teary eyed i plopped down on the couch and asked Jeremy to pray for me. That was exactly what i needed. It was as though a weight lifted. So glad i came to a place of asking for prayer and a shoulder to cry on. I had already allowed pride/bad attitude to keep it in all day which made it worse cause i could just stew in these negative emotions. But i had enough and did not want to go to bed like this or start another day with this funk. There was just such a battle within me with negative thoughts. Last night i was reminded of the continual spiritual battle that is going on all around us-good and evil, a war for our souls. We have an enemy of our souls, Satan, who will work to bring about our demise. Looking back I wish i would have prayed or asked for prayer sooner. Instead i let the negative thoughts(often i believe Satan or his demons whisper negative thoughts to us) get the best of me-impacting my actions all day. I allowed myself to believe the lies of self-pity, bitterness, etc… I have heard that the book called Battlefield of the Mind is good, especially for us ladies who deal with destructive thoughts. so i borrowing it soon from a friend.
P- (prayer). God thank you for lifting the heaviness off of me that i was feeling. Help me to recognize the need for prayer in my life in addressing these things. Thank you for hearing my prayers and answering when i call out to you.