Dealing With Anxiety

I share what I have been experiencing in hopes that another will read it and be encouraged and realize they are not alone.  I had shared my struggle with some and many responded that they too have experienced what I have.

The last couple of years there has been times where sickening anxiety rises up within me and it has intensified the last few months.  It makes me nauseated and or dizzy.  Often it is unexplained and comes out of no where.  I have had to sit or lay right where I am because it was too much for my body.

But this past Wednesday (the day before we moved out of our home) I had an experience like none other.  It felt like an attack.  I don’t know if it was a panic attack, anxiety attack or something else. Usually laying down helps.  But even while laying in bed the anxiety came and it took focused effort to slow my breathing and the other symptoms came too.  It was hard to breathe.  It was super scary.  So it is like I fear “the fear” coming.  I fear the effects of fear on my body.  I start to ask a million what ifs.. What if this happens while in the store?  What happens if this happens while driving?  etc.

I realized the what if game is causing me more fear/anxiety.  I am asking Jesus to free me from this.  I am totally open to seeing a doctor and looking into medicine.  I am praying for wisdom on what to do. I don’t know if He will free me through medicine or other means but in the meantime I have to find ways to calm my heart.
So the very next morning I woke with fearing the fear.  I questioned if I could even drive Hannah to school.  As I turned on the van a song came on that I have not heard in forever.  The lyrics were absolutely perfect.  Not coincidence but I believe divine providence.  
Some of the lyrics from You Lead Me
  • Good morning, the night is over and gone
  • I thought once this dark would last so long
  • You have brought me through this place
  • Through the long night you led me, You set me free

So moment by moment , hour by hour today I have been thanking him for freeing me from that fear for that minute or past hour etc.  It makes me think of another song that says,  “every hour I need you”. This paralyzing(at times) fear is causing me to depend on Him for strength and wisdom.

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