Love this picture.  I gave this pin to my daughter to wear to help her since she was having a hard morning.  My dad had given it to me.  He passed away when I was only 20 so its special. 😉

Sometimes I can begin to dwell on something that I stink at.

I can begin to focus my thoughts on it.

Every time that weakness comes to mind I can begin to feel defeated.  Feeling defeated before I even begin to tackle something is not the key to success. 😉  I can begin to feel discouraged and think why try? “I will ALWAYS stink at this.  I will NEVER be different in this area.”

I learned from author Lisa Grace Bryne that we can identify lies that we are believing often by the words ALWAYS and NEVER.  These are clear red flags of negative weeds that are trying to take root in my heart.  She suggests to pull the weed (identify the negative thought) and plant a seed (replace it with a positive truth).  I will give an example of what I am currently wrestling with.

I have a few disorganized spaces like my desk.  UGH- just thinking about it makes me angry.  Also my garage looks like us Copelands are hoarders who prefer the open the door and chuck your crap out into the garage method.

So those are just 2 of my physical spaces that make me cringe but then there are the unseen clutter:  my digital life.  My inbox has way too many.  My files etc are not easily found.  I hoard in the digital world with articles and like 30,000 photos and my oldest is only 12.  My disorganization is no surprise to those in my life.  Send an email to me and you’ll know I take awhile if ever reply.

This last year I have been like a crazy prego lady who is nesting (preparing her home before the birth- for those who may not know that it is a condition that exists 🙂 in preparation for adopting a sibling set from the foster care system.

But the last few months I have felt the urgency to also declutter my digital/paper/office world.  This is partially because I know I will have less time when I go from 3 to 5  kids.  But this known weakness of mine became glaring/blindingly obvious when I got hired on part time at our church and I actually have “responsibilities” (I am doing finger air quotes because I have always done stuff for the church but now like people depend on me to get stuff done ;).  Before I sent a card when desired or encouraged someone over coffee but now I have like real responsibilities as well.

I knew when being hired that the Lord was going to help me grow in places where I feel weak and inadequate.  And this digital stuff makes me feel so weak.

Anyways I am currently disorganized but I am not going to let it be apart of my identity.  I need to grow in some areas but it does not define me.  Jeremy, my hubby says that I have vision and calling and that skills can be learned.  I will not live defeated and say that I am a disorganized mess.  The truth is that I have many areas that are organized and even with pretty labels and I just have a few things I need to deal with.  Big things but I can do it.

I am currently disorganized but I am not staying there.

I am not defeated.

I will allow this weakness to grow me.

I will grow and change to bring peace to these messy areas.

I will lean on God to help me grow in this.

I will seek out experts in this area and learn from them.

I am being transformed.

I believe God is taking me through this process so I can be a better leader.  He is growing my capacity.

I will work hard until I get there.

I will not live in defeat and discouragement.

I will take small steps and celebrate the small wins along the way because they will add up to big wins.

God is taking me to the next level.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.