authentic

Feeling Inadequate in My Skin Part 1

Posted on by kimicope

I am not always been comfortable in my skin and there are still times where I try to be something I am not or I am not living from a place of authenticity.

It was at a recent church planters conference where a pastor’s wife(Keri Weems) shared being at her wit’s end and wanting to quit.  She got to a point of no joy, hit a wall, so tired, not feeling successful on the inside, essentially not feeling adequate enough.  She has a book coming out that I want to get, Rhythms of Grace.  Her message was so good for me so I will share some of it here.

She shared about leading from a place of wholeness and authenticity.  She said there are 3 things every leader needs for longevity:
  1. awareness– being self aware of emotions, motives and how you cause others to feel.  There are 3 assessments to help with becoming self aware:
  • Myers Briggs personality test (you can find a similar test at truity or )
  • Strength Finders 2.0- amazing book with a test to identity your top 5 strengths.  Take test 1st.
  • Emotional Intelligence 2.0 She said most of our conflict is due to our emotional intellgence.  IQ is something fixed and not changing but we can all grow in emotional intelligence
     2.  agency– the will and ability to change things
     3.  authenticity – being who you truly are without regret, guilt or shame

Jeremy started a message series at Story Church on Emotional Health(check out the podcast, Iceberg: There’s More Beneath the Surface).  He shared that we are often self conscious(worried how we are perceived) but not self aware.

Emotional Intellegence 2.0 says,

  • “Self-awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations.”
  • “People high in self-awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.
  • “The only way to genuinely understand your emotions is to spend enough time thinking through them to figure out where they come from and why they are there. Emotions always serve a purpose.”
Keri Weems was saying that we all need to grow in self awareness.  Being self aware is a huge indicator for emotional health.  Self awareness is the ability to step outside myself and see why those around me are reacting a particular way to me.   Self awareness does not mean self-indulgent.  It is not an excuse, “I’m just this way or I’m an introvert so I never want to hang out.”

I know the feeling of being inadequate stems from not knowing fully who God has made me to be and not embracing that reality.  As I grow more in knowing my identity in Christ, what God says about me, the less I wrestle with feeling inadequate.  There is less of a need to compare myself when I realize I live for an audience of one, my God and not living to please others.  I want to grow in my emotional health.  I want to grow in being more self aware.  I want to know who God created me to be so I can be fully that person.