Just Deal With It Already!

Ever have something you keep putting off?

Something you are dreading?

One of those things for me is conflict.  I want to be emotionally healthy.  I want to deal with my baggage.  I am learning that emotionally healthy people run towards conflict right away.  They don’t hope it goes away by ignoring it.  They don’t dance around it.  They don’t tell a 3rd party about it but instead go directly to the person that hurt them.

This is NOT my natural response.

I want to RUN.

I want to bury my head in the sand and hope it leaves.

We have about 30 trees in our yard so that means a ton of leaves and pine needles to rake and bag.  Last fall we raked but never bagged.  So in July we are still dealing with this.

I avoided it.

I dreaded the handwork it would take.

I ignored it.

For some reason my response did not make the leaves disappear.  I am finally bagging them up and I am now left with huge dead patches in our lawn.

My avoidance caused decay/death.

I believe that is exactly want unresolved conflict does.

  • Unresolved conflict kills relationships
  • Unresolved conflict causes relationships to deteriorate 
  • Unresolved conflict causes marriages to die
  • Unresolved conflict causes friendships to decay
  • Unresolved conflict numbs the heart so then you can’t feel anything anymore
It also bring death to my heart.  It leads to contempt and bitterness which poisons my soul.  It brings decay to my heart.

I am trying to now uproot bitterness promptly through prayer and hard conversations.  My hubby has helped me lots with this.  He tells me that I gotta have the hard conversation.  This is what an emotionally healthy person does and I want to be healthy.  I have enough brokenness and ugly in my heart that I don’t need to add more by allowing unresolved conflict to grow foul bitterness in my heart.

Some awesome resources on becoming emotionally healthy:
  1. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
  2. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Workbook
  3. Emotional Intelligence 2.0
  4. 5 Dysfunctions of a Team  (taught me that conflict is not a bad thing to be avoided)
So I had wrote this on Saturday.  And thought it was cool on Sunday Jeremy’s message at church was so similar to this and we had not shared with the other what we were learning. 🙂