As I write I feel not my best self from last night’s overindulgence. Funny, but I was just here 7 days ago. But isn’t that the nature of addiction? I know what is rationally true but engage in unhealthy behavior anyway.

I currently do not have a headache just stomach feels no bueno. The last few days without sugar I did not need the usual Advil for headaches.

So after last’s weeks sugar splurge I continued to have it here and there. This is why moderation is hard for someone like myself who is susceptible to sugar addiction. I also began a book loaned to me called Bright Lines Eating. I wanted to read it because it explains the science behind why sugar and flour are addictive. It also goes into what it is doing to your body. The author clearly states that she believes sugar and flour are drugs and not food. The book has a weight loss plan which includes ditching sugar and flour. So as I read it I toyed with the idea of trying it. But her plan means ditching these things forever. I think I was continuing to eat sugar earlier this week as like a last meal sort of thing, get it in now because I might be ditching it for good. 😉 Then add it has been a stressful week with our youngest child’s behavior which makes eating emotionally much easier because I “deserve” it since I it has been so hard.

But after a few days of headaches and sideways looks from my kids and their questions, “I thought you were not eating sugar for a year?”, I decided to go back to not eating sugar. I still have been having one small yogurt (12grams of sugar) a day. I now notice how sweet it is once I ditch other sweets. Couple reasons why I have not given that up: it still feels like a treat/dessert so nice to fall back on that and I want the probiotics to help protect me against any further yeast infections. I have probiotics in pill form that I could take and probably should to help my body not continue to crave sugar because I am still eating it. Once I ditched it again, I began to feel more focused and my thinking felt clearer. I felt a lightness in my body. I just felt better. During the day I would also not eat things with flour but if our dinner had it I would have a little but mostly filled up on protein and veggies.

It is 9:40 am and I am not at all hungry. I think it is because my body is still burning off last night’s calories. I am not only not hungry but food also sounds yuck since I feel bloated.

So for dinner I had pizza with the family. That certainly has sugar and flour. Then for dessert had the usual dessert for family fun night, 2 scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone. After feeling like junk as I was getting ready for bed I decided to do the math of what I just ate. There was 31g of sugar in the cherry Garcia, 22g in chocolate truffle and 4 g in the cone for a total of 57 grams of sugar in my dessert!!!! The American Heart Association recommends women have no more than 24grams of added sugar a day. This still feels like too much because that is 6 teaspoons a day. The thought of scooping 6 tsp from my sugar jar and eating them feels yuck. This articlehttps://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-much-sugar-per-day#TOC_TITLE_HDR_7 says that if you are overweight or sick then added sugar (not talking about fruit) should not have a place in your life. The article also says if you feel you are addicted then you should not have any just like smokers/alcoholics who abstain from their addictions. They said if you struggle with setting limits with yourself then may be a sign your addicted. Yep, I do.

After the ice cream I was sitting on the couch reading a book (The Hacking of the American Mind by Dr. Lustig) and I noticed I began to feel jittery. It felt similar to when I have been very anxious and I feel it in my limbs. I felt amped up like I was uber stressed. I kept thinking- “why do I feel stressed? I’m just sitting here reading and not stressed about anything.” Then I realized it was likely the high dose of sugar with the ice cream. My medical friends could probably tell me what is going on in my body.

So even with feeling that way I still decide to have the usual soda 2 hours later at 9:30pm while watching a movie with the family. Old habits ingrained in my brain. Movie = popcorn and Coke. Before every theater movie I have seen usually had a few commercials for this duo. Marketing totally works. I had 8oz of Coke for a a total of 36g. I first started with 4 oz. then went back for a second round of Coke and popcorn though I was already full and my brain was likely hoping for the same kick that it had the first time around. But it was not as rewarding as the first sip. A couple of times I had chest pains and heart racing. Feeling pretty certain it was linked to the blood sugar spike.

I went to bed bloated and feeling defeated. Hmmm…. maybe one day of sugar a week may not be the best for me. I thought I learned that last week. I keep taking notes. I wonder how did I live like this regularly? How did I not notice what my body was feeling? I think I just used to not feeling my best. I got used to feeling anxious. But with this experiment, I am paying better attention to how my body and mind feels with the consumption of sugar. I went to bed feeling similar body sensations as when I am anxious and about to have a panic attack. I was bloated and had to sleep on my right side so not to put pressure on my stomach which is on the left. I often like to fall asleep on my right side so I am facing my husband. That feels more connected than rolling over and having my back to him.