My Sugar Addiction

Sugar is most often my trigger for gluttony. I can’t tell you how many food hangovers I have had. I feel like junk the next morning after ignoring my body’s signals that I am full. Things taste so good so I keep going until regret creeps in and by that point I am often like “screw it” and have more since I have already passed the line of what is good for me.

All of this seems very irrational and unwise and it is. But that is what addiction does. One knows that the drug of choice/behavior will not lead to good results but the immediate fix of it makes one keep pursuing it. I have rational reasons not to overindulge in sugar but addiction often wins over rational. Some of my rational reasons to eat less sugar:

  • I’m 60% more likely to develop diabetes since my last 2 pregnancies I had gestational diabetes.
  • I’ve gained 30 pounds since I said “I do” almost 22 years ago. That may not sound like a ton but I am the height of a hobbit. 😉
  • The last 5 years I have struggled with anxiety/panic attacks. Sugar is a known trigger since it elevates the blood sugar level and it is on the sugar crash that the body feels the sensations of anxiety.
  • I have had 2 kidney stones (thought I was dying). I should be drinking 100+ ounces of water a day. Soda should be once in a blue moon if ever but Coke is so magical with popcorn.
  • I have a high genetic tendency towards tooth decay. My first root canal was at age 2. I have had 3 molars pulled in the last 10 years instead of getting the suggested root canals. After reading Sugar Crush I wondered if the tooth damage was being caused from the inside out with my nerves being inflamed thus causing the damage to my teeth’s nerves resulting in needing a root canal.
  • I don’t want my kids to struggle with sugar like I have my whole life. I see them following in my foot steps and I only get rolled eyes and exasperated sighs when I mention our family eating less sugar.
  • I have read many books/watched the documentaries warning the dangers of sugar.
  • It’s been over a year since my most recent tooth extraction and still have random pain due to it and sugar often makes it worse.
  • Headaches are a common ailment for me.
  • Two nights ago I woke up with a racing heart likely due to the recent anxiety.

Sugar you’ve been a terrible friend. A friend encourages, lifts up, supports and treasures you. Sugar you do none of these things.

To be honest, I should cut you of my life completely because you’re toxic to me. But to be honest I don’t want to. I’d miss you too much. I’d miss you in warm chocolate chip cookies and blessed mochas. Maybe one day I’ll ditch you all together. But for now we can hang out a little, one day a week on Sabbath. But we are not hanging out the whole weekend!! I don’t want to start my week with a hangover. Just 24 hours- Friday evening to Saturday evening. But I’m not sure if I can limit you. You are so pushy and never listen to my no. It’s hard for me to have boundaries with you. It’s all or nothing. I’ve been in the habit of choosing all but I don’t feel ready to choose nothing forever. But I think I can choose none during the week. Your pull after our time together may be too much for me. But I don’t want to be controlled or abused by you. Seeing you at all is likely going to be like playing with fire. We will try this experiment and see what happens.

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