Each month I save my receipts to record them into the right categories etc. And each month when the statement comes in- I dread it. I am trying insanely hard to not loose them but seems like most months I am missing one.
Well this month I cannot find 3! Instantly feelings of being an incompetent fool came to my head. Thoughts like, “Why can’t I be more organized?”, “This is so simple, why can’t I manage it?” “You’re such an incompetent fool.” So as my frustration builds, the flood gates break open.
Luckily Jeremy was home to help me process it. I told him my feelings and he said, “You’re very competent. Your competence is not measured in how you manage receipts. Please try to let this go.” Followed up with a few hugs. 🙂
Minutes after, I open my youversion Bible app and the verse of the day is:
Deuteronomy 6:7, “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”
I felt in that moment that the Lord was reminding me of my competence in teaching my kids about God. Not perfection in it by any means. The definition for competence is the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.
I am succeeding in trying to talk with my kids about God at home, in our minivan, at bedtime and in our mornings. I don’t have a formal written thing I do at each time. We often sing these set few songs on the way to school(This is the day that the Lord has made, Jesus Loves Me, and some other fun kid songs) or other praise music.
I got this cool idea from a book I am reading(Receiving the Day)- it shared of a mom who daily asked her kids where they met God today. I sometimes phrase it “Where did you see evidence of God today? or Where did you see God working?” This is a question I enjoy at dinner. The other day I forgot and Hannah began to share, “Today I saw God…..”.
Yesterday while driving Isaiah said, “I am blessed to have toys and food.”
So I am reminded that my feelings and thoughts are not necessarily truth. I have to hold them up against what God says about me. I don’t believe He thinks I am an incompetent fool because I misplaced some receipts. Just like I would not think that of my daughter if she lost a homework assignment. I know the truth about her- she is a hardworking, responsible young lady who is a leader among her peers.
I need to give myself the grace that I try to give others. My worth is not in what I accomplish or achieve but who God has made me to be. I am a beloved child of God who occasionally loses receipts. It is good to keep things in perspective and focus on the things that matter like raising up the next generation. I mess up plenty in that but there is grace for that too.
this song popped in my head. singing it this morning.Your Grace is Enough
Hello my name is child of the One True King….Love that song too….on days that negative chatter creeps in!! You are awesome…it shows in your kids…I'd rather have it together there than in meticulous record keeping 😉
Miss you friend!