man, this mom stuff is hard. i have been feeling like i am running on empty, with not much more to give. lately i have felt that out of all my roles(mom, wife, friend,pastor’s wife…), the one that i spend the most time and energy being is a housekeeper. having a newborn and a two year old tornado is hard. my six year is helpful and fairly easy but the younger two keep me going nonstop. one of my favorite quotes of all time is, “cleaning your house while your kids are young is like shoveling while it is still snowing.” it is insane how true this is. hannah often asks what the point of cleaning her room is cause it is gonna just get messy again. just like our house. but i know i have to keep shoveling otherwise we are gonna get snowed in. i have had to realize and accept that the driveway wont be clear of snow for awhile. that this is only a season. but it is a season every experienced mom says i will miss dearly. so amidst the chaos, butt wiping, meltdown adverting, toilet scrubbing, i need to remember to enjoy these sweet angels. after the girls were in bed i gave isaiah his bath. afterward i had him all bundled up on my chest and he was struggling with all his strength to lift his head to gaze up at me. and of course the tears start coming. probably partly cause i am so emotionally, physically exhausted which makes it easier for the water works. but they were also tears of joy. even though this is the hardest job i will ever have , i also know it will also be the most rewarding. these joyful moments i need to cherish and remember when i am feeling so weary. by the way, i am certain the word “weary” must have been coined by a mom with young kids. it is cool how God works. while feeling so pooped earlier this evening a verse came to my head. “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest.” just now i had to look up where that was and it is matthew 11:28. i know i have been so weary lately cause i have not had any silence and solitude. words that dont go with mommy. not only does my personality love these things but they are also spiritual disciplines that help your soul grow and connect you with Jesus. recently the time i felt most refreshed was when i went for a walk by myself with ipod listening to worship music. it was so good for my soul to be outdoors, alone and praising God. so it is after a hard night and couple of weeks that i realize that silence and solitude cannot be ignored and that i desperately need them for my sanity and soul.