so at church we are doing these things called soap. “s” stands for scripture, o-observation(basic things about text, perhaps repeated words, details, anything i observe..; a -application(trying to apply it to my life), and p-prayer(write a prayer, usually in regards to the application for me). anyways john 11 was about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Mary and Martha both say, “Jesus, if you were here 4 days ago he would be alive.” this may be odd but that then made me think about God’s timing and how sometimes God’s timing is not always our timing. so my prayer was for God to help me trust in His perfect timing. and to remember He has always faithfully provided and then some, an overflowing cup of blessing. crazy how i was just praying this yesterday and today we get our support check(no paychecks yet because we are too new and small of a church) . so a support check is comprised of people(mostly friends and family from back home) giving monthly to support us on this adventure of church planting. It has been amazing that others believe in us enough and believe in this dream that we feel God has given us that they would then generously support us monthly with monetary gifts. Sometimes our checks have been low, perhaps it is the economy, i don’t know. but today’s check i think has been the lowest. we only received one third of what we normally get. yikes, kinda scary since we are barely making it when we receive a full check. but i cannot help but smile and think , “okay, am i going to trust his timing? am i going to trust that He will provide for us even when i don’t see how we are going to come up with the rest?” i mean, i just wrote in my soap journal yesterday about how He has always provided yet worry still creeps in. Faith is not a given, but a choice to trust daily. and definietly not easy all the time. but worry won’t get me anywhere. when it arises in my heart, i need to stop and pray and ask for God to work and provide. He will, and i look forward to seeing how He will.