Worry makes me sick. Lately I have felt the physical ailments of much anxiety in my life. There is a situation in my life that has brought me much dread and anxiety.

This morning when I was listening to the Psalms, the phrase, “exhausted by my moaning” stood out to me.

Lord, I am so tired of this stress. It is impacting my health and I feel so done with it. I don’t want this worry to take space in my mind, heart, or body anymore. I am tired of living in fear of what might happen. I can’t control this other person’s words or actions. I can’t make this individual see the truth and own up to their part.

I am weary of the anxiety taking up so much space in my mind and because of the prominent place I have given it- my body is experiencing the worry far beyond plaguing thoughts. The physical impacts of this worry/dread:

• literal heart/chest pains
• panicky breathing/shallow breathing/feeling like I have to catch my breath and that I have forgotten how to just breathe
• chomping down hard while I sleep
• inability to nap due to panicky breathing. As I nod off- I’m startled awake with my breathing. I am usually a super napper with the ability to sleep anywhere and anytime.
• regular stressful dreams
• my gut biome is off resulting in a yeast infection (TMI 😉

So I am exhausted/ worn out/ drained/ weary/ fatigued/ frazzled/ depleted with this worry.

Interesting that synonyms with exhausted are out of breath, breathless, panting. Yes!!! This weariness has made the simple act of breathing harder.

I’m feeling enough is enough. I don’t like what worry is doing to my body or mind. So I must put in boundaries to better care for myself. I can’t change this person’s behavior but I can change mine. Some of things I am shifting in order to bring back balance to my heart and body:

• Exercise- this is a must! Movement helps to move stress through the body so I am trying to daily walk a mile (not fast just a leisure pace since my mind has been racing- I just need chill). I also want to ride my bike with my busy bee kiddo.
• Daily eat yogurt (the live active cultures will help my gut biome). I have to see this as just daily medicine that I need.
• Practice mental surrender when this person or situation comes back to mind to verbally say, “I trust you Jesus with this.” And either mentally distract myself or turn on praise music to redirect my mind so I don’t end up in a downward spiral of worry.
• Silencing notifications of a group text thread. This is a relationship that I cannot cut off but I can allow my husband to manage necessary communication.
• Yoga- the chillaxing kind not the stressful, hot/sweaty kind ;). I used to love doing this right after I got our youngest to bed. I good stretch really can feel like you got a massage but it’s free.
• Drink lots of water. This helps on the cellular level which then leads to lots of good things.
• Not staying up too late so that I can get plenty of sleep
• Rising early so I can have the quiet morning to listen to my Hallow app and be encouraged then write/journal before my busy bee needs so much of me. He needs so much movement and mental stimulation to help him self regulate and be happier/calmer. Upon waking he asks, “Can you do something with me?” I love living on a cul de sac with lots of kids to help give him what he needs.
• I made a new list of anxiety hacks to help self regulate my nervous system in moments of overwhelm. Now I need to print it and hang on the fridge til it becomes second nature

Worry makes me sick so I am shifting things to bring better health.