Today for my morning quiet time I listened to a reading from the New Testament book of Luke. I am enjoying this lectio divina option of listening to a passage versus reading it.

The part that stood out to me was- “Elizabeth said, “No…” This was from the story of Elizabeth (Jesus’ aunt) delivering her baby and when it came time to name her baby. They were going to name him Zecharius after his father but Elizabeth said “No, his name will be John”. Her husband at the time was dealing with being mute (it ended up being a temporary condition) so he was given a tablet to write on and he affirmed her decision and words by saying, “his name will be John.” The text said that they were all surprised. It is believed that they were all surprised because he went along with what his wife said because women did not have a voice in that time and culture. I am encouraged by her boldness. She starts he dialogue with “No.” This affirms this fierce mama bear’s heart. There have been times when I was fearful to assert my “No” as a protective mama. I can think to one specific time that my mama’s heart did not want my child to be alone with this other adult because I feared that she would speak lies to him. I went against my gut to say “No” to this adult’s request to have private time with him. Later I found out about the adult did indeed speak confusing lies to my youngest. I regret not listening to my mama’s intuition. I wish I owned my “No”.

As a woman I have often been fearful to own my “No” with inappropriate behavior from men. I can think of multiple (too many to count) times where a man said things to me that were not ok. My heart was screaming “NO!” but fear kept my tongue bound and I stayed silent. I often either nervously laughed it off though it was not funny in any manner or I walked away. Neither response left me feeling I had control. I allowed immature males to speak whatever vulgar thing that popped into their minds. I can’t control what others say or do but I can control my response. When the “MeToo” movement came out I felt a resounding agreement- “Yes!!! I understand. I have been in that position of feeling so very small and scared.”

We wish to train up our sons to honor and respect women with their words and their bodies. Women are to be treasured and valued.

We wish to train up our daughters to be strong and bold. I’ve told them this following story. Once in high school I was walking by the weight room and an upper classmen guy ( I can still remember his name and to this day if I saw his 40+ year self- I would feel repulsed) said, “How about you let me see what’s under your skirt?” I was absolutely horrified, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, and nauseated. I just kept walking. But what I tell my girls is that I wished I turned, looked him in the eyes and spoke with authority, “You will not speak to me like that! I am a daughter of God and should be respected and honored.” Then walk away without giving him ear to reply. I feel quite certain his puny pride would have been wounded which would illicit more harassment. There is no doubt he did not have the emotional health to receive this correction. Truthfully now I wish I kicked him in the balls or punched him in the face. 😉 I tell my girls that I pray they have more courage then I did back then. Back then the thought never occurred to me to tell a teacher or administrator. It was just something to carry silently.

Recently my freshman daughter shared how this one senior guy is known for speaking nastily to the freshmen girls. It is just this accepted behavior. She shared how he spoke this way to her and I urged her to speak up and say something to a teacher or staff. I wanted to step in and go to the staff on her behalf but I know the importance of her learning to advocate for herself so I waited. She ended up telling a teacher and he has not messed with her anymore. I am proud of her strength and courage. I pray that when this happens again (not if it happens again because sadly this is all too common) that she will be fierce and speak boldly against the harassment. I pray my girls will grow stronger and stronger in their identity as daughters of the Almighty King. I pray they will not tolerate abusive words and behaviors. I have seen them be advocates for others so I pray they will continue to advocate for their own worth and value.