Today is the last day of August and I almost gave up the idea of having my 24 hours of silence and solitude. I was going to use my mother in law’s apartment while she was away but I picked up a funky runny nose cold as an educator of munchkins and I did not want to bring my germs to her place. But I realized I would find comfort in at least holing up in my bedroom for 24 hours. So today after a pool party, I looked myself in my room at 3:30pm and plan to stay here for 24 hours.

As I walked thru my room’s double doors, I felt elated for this opportunity, for this space, for this margin for my soul. Returning back to work and feeling the school squeeze, I needed this time. I normally like to get away so there is zero chance of being interrupted or needed but that was not in the budget but this is more than enough for me. I have beautiful comfy teal chair I keep in the corner of my bedroom near 3 large windows. This is a safe space for me. So I plopped down with a cozy blanket. At the beginning of these retreats I often have so many ideas of what I could do with this special time. I brought upstairs 2 books I am reading through. I grabbed a third that feels like it is speaking to me that I may read. I thought well maybe I could declutter all these crazy piles in my room. I quickly ruled that out. I do love decluttering, but that is not what my soul is feeling right now.

Well I thought I could write on one of my book ideas. As much as I love to write, that was not what my soul first needed. I could read. No my soul does not want more words right now even though I geek out over words. I love to read them. I love to write them. I love to speak them. But not right now. I realized my soul just needed stillness. This lovely teal chair has provided support for hours of meditation/centering/contemplative prayer. Life has been going at a busy pace and I have not carved out that special space for my soul. I first discovered contemplative prayer in a season of burnout. I have found that I often do not consistently return to it until I need it as a lifeline though my soul needs it as a wellness maintenance. It is often not until my heart feels weary and desperate that I remember this special space for my soul. I convince myself that my time would be better spent catching up on laundry or dishes. But it is these monthly retreats that I give myself permission to slow down and rest.

Just this last week on Monday my spiritual director asked what is it that my soul is longing for. I said “slowness”. 2 days later I would have a fever for 18 hours and need to call a sub for my teaching job for 2 days. So I guess I got a forced slowness. Today is Sunday and thankfully we have Labor Day off so I can extend this slowness. An unexpected 5 day weekend definitely is giving me the slowness I crave.

I set my timer for 20 minutes to allow my soul to enjoy the stillness as I close my eyes and breath deep. One of my fav authors, Ruth Haley Barton first introduced me to the idea of our lives as these glass jars. Inside is water and like river sediment. When life is in constant motion the water stays murky and cloudy. It is not until the jar is set down and still that the sediment settles to the bottom and the water becomes clear. This is what stillness does for me. This is what centering prayer does for me. So as a million thoughts/opinions try to cloud up my water, I return to the mental image of me as child watching this jar settle. Today the water is filled with silver glitter as I watch it sink to the bottom. Once the 20 minutes is up, I realize that not only has my mind been spinning but my body is tired too of running the rat race. So I set my timer for 30 minutes and cuddle up for a nap. I am a 9 on the Enneagram and can sleep for hours but this 24 hours feels too precious to take a marathon nap today. There have been retreats where I just slept and slept and that is what I needed but that is not what I need today. I am recovering from this cold so I have slept ALOT lately.

After my nap I go grab some chips and salsa and few peanut M&Ms. I try to listen to what my body also needs on these retreats and not push past my hunger. I don’t normally check email on these days but I did today and I am glad I did. I realized I had not registered for an upcoming retreat that I really wanted to go to. So I bit the bullet, put it on the credit card in hopes that the provision will come in. It is a self care retreat led by one of my favorite authors, Rachel May Stafford in the mountains of NC. Man there are so many good things about this. It is for those who give and give to others. Yep that is me. It also fills my need for being in nature. It is in the fall with all that glorious color and I am hoping to see a dear friend and my sister and her new baby. Oh yeah, as an aspiring author, I would LOVE the chance to personally learn from Rachel. I have watched her journey from blogger to author to author of many books. It all around feels like a sweet opportunity. My heart has been wanting to say yes for quite sometime so today was a good day to say yes.

I am about 3 hours into my retreat and I have done 3 things I LOVE: centering prayer, napped and write (chronically this time away). This is already a HUGE WIN. Now off to practice lectio divina and journal and read a fav prayer book, Draw the Circle. Being in a house with currently 3 kids, 4th kid(friend of son), 3 dogs and hubby- it is not very silent but that is what foam ear plugs are for.

As I read I notice the pink glow coming through my windows. Ahhh… the magic hour when the setting sun makes my local mountains look pink and purple. This often lures me outside. So I put on my walking shoes for an evening stroll. My recent new hobby is picking up trash. I know it sounds silly but it is insanely satisfying keeping our neighborhood and nearby park clean. I am one of many who do this. I love saving a fast-food straw from being washed out to the ocean via gutters/storm drains. Being in nature is a key way I connect with God and then picking up trash just feels like a natural extension of caring for God’s creation. My walk home is in the dark. I enjoy listening to the various tempos of crickets chirping.

I come home and make a bean and cheese burrito. I chat with my teen daughter. I hear my husband reading Narnia to my youngest. Truly one of my favorite sounds. So this is a mostly silent, mostly solo retreat. I am thankful for the sounds I do hear. It is 8:45pm and I think I could seriously go to bed now but I want to squeeze as much time as I can out of this retreat. I end up reading til about 11:00pm.

I wake at 9:20am. It is dangerous for me not to set an alarm because I could literally roll out of bed at noon then most of my retreat would have missed. This sleep in gave me 4 more hours of sleep than I usually get. I wander downstairs for some breakfast and since hubby is here, naturally I want to chat with my best friend.

I read more. I do more centering prayer. I attempt a nap but my youngest sounds like an elephant up and down the stairs what feels like a dozen times. I journal and pray. Now to write a little more. In my journal I will often put those sticky flags of entries that I want to add to a book or to my blog. So that is my hope with the remaining time. I ignore the clutter piles around me. This time is for restoration. I know a simplified space would feel restorative but the process of making choices of what to keep and toss is not restorative so I save that for another time. This time is sacred and I want to protect it.

Cost of this soul retreat: zip, zero, zilch