Well… technically I do but I struggle to make it happen. I know how desperately my heart and even my body need delight. And delight is what Sabbath is all about. Sabbath is the Jewish and now also the Christian practice of taking a full day off each week. But regardless of one’s faith, this practice has the potential to change one’s life. I know because it had one point revoluntionized my life’s rhythm. This was a practice I embraced in my early 30s. Ok that is weird to type, “my early 30s” when I feel like my soul has not aged a bit by my body reminds me of otherwise. I certainly feel like I have grown on the soul level but age itself is an odd thing. Perhaps because it feels like time goes so fast.

Returning back from my side tangent- My young family of my husband and 3 kids we had embraced this tradition. An older, wiser friend mentioned this wonderful practice to us. As a person who grew up in the church I heard of the Sabbath since it is one of the 10 commandments- “Honor the Sabbath”. But I had virtually no practice of it. I was so thankful this practice became an anchor in our early days of church planting, starting a new church in a new location. Not like our own cult or something but a new community of Jesus followers.

Sabbath was such a life line. Knowing that at the end of the week we were going to take a chill day gave hope and endurance. Since we were full-time pastors on Sunday we chose to take our 24 hours off Friday dinner (5pm) to Saturday dinner (5pm). Many like to take Sunday off but if you are a pastor then Sunday is a workday as you prepare and get ready to encourage others on Sundays.

I have written extensively on this topic here on my blog because it became such a core belief for us. We would rest. We would enjoy good food. We would enjoy each other. We would pause from the usual work of the week like email, dishes, laundry etc. We would all ditch our daily chores. (the kids loved this) We would focus on doing what felt restorative to our spirits. So there was sleeping in. There was lots of play in pjs and slippers. There was hikes in nature.

Sabbath was a day to take a deep breath. It was nice to take that breath together as a family. We prepared for this day. As much as we could we would tidy up and prepare our home for this because it is much easier to relax in a tidy home then a cluttered home. I know this is true for most mamas. I bet my hubby and kids could likely chill just fine with the mess but I do better with tidy.

Our Sabbath was kicked off with another new tradition of family fun night. We had pizza and soda which felt like an exciting thing for my littles who rarely had soda. We would then snuggle up on the couch with a movie and popcorn then end the night with ice cream. Tears come just reminiciscing this. I just miss this beloved time so much.

My youngest is 9 years old and he does not remember family fun night. Oh my heart aches knowing this. There is a large age gap with him and my older 3 kiddos. There were several things that changed this tradition for us. We found it harder and harder to find movies that all 4 were happy with. For this peacemaker, a 9 on the enneagram- the battle felt like too much. I know family fun nights will feel different in this new season because my first 3 grew up together as children. But our youngest came to us when my girls were already entering the tween/teen years.

Sabbath also changed for us as we exited being full time pastors. For 15 years of my kids lives we led a local church. We closed the doors shortly before my oldest went off to college. Church attendance in a new place was not a regular thing. My husband and I needed space to grieve this loss of closing down what we had started. We took a year of Sabbatical but when that year was up, my heart was not ready to jump back into a faith community. The grief was still too near. We had not been “attenders” in almost 2 decades. So going from the ones who planned and created a church experience to the ones on the receiving end felt so very foreign. We still wore the hat of full-time pastors. As we were not going to church regularly we lost our anchor of Sabbath. All the days just melded into each others with no real significant difference. Each day was about work. Even if Jeremy was not working on the weekend, his mind was working.

Just writing about this renews my passion for finding a new way forward that still has us focus on being together for Sabbath. I do not know the answer moving forward but I miss the together piece of this practice. Right now I am trying to bring back rest to my life by powering down my phone Saturday night to Sunday night. Having my mind and soul not interrupted with regular pings is so very life giving. But sticking to do this is very hard. It is now some what easier having a house landline just in case someone needs to reach out to me. But truly everyone else in my family is plugged in so one could text them if they needed me. My kids still like to do Sabbath Friday night to Saturday night since that is what they are used to. Jeremy is trying to do take Friday off since he is a pastor Sunday and often a Realtor on Saturday. But this division feels yuck to me.

Friday nights my teens are often spent mentally from 5 days in school and are eager to both have alone time and be with friends. I know as they grow friends become very important as they prepare for adult years and leaving the nest. So I do not expect things to be the same. But I do miss the togetherness. I have heard of families doing Feast days where they are all together and the teens are welcome to invite friends to join the family time. Perhaps this is what we will bring back.

This post has taken a needed side tangent. It has revealed what is truly in my heart. I love what Henri Nouwen says about the act of writing, “Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: “I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write.” So many times this is true as I journal/write. What I carry in my heart is a longing for time with my family. We are all off in our own spaces, doors shut, and often eyes glued to a screen. It grieves me. We have come to accept our new normal. But I want to revolt against it. I have for the last 2 years but mostly internally. I hold this grief inside. I have spoken up a couple of times expressing my longing and grief but without a plan nothing will change. We must invite them into something new and better. So I must pray and ponder how to change things up.

Back to writing on Sabbath. I used to know how to rest. I have noticed the last 7 years since our youngest has come to us that I do not rest much. He is very busy and needs much of me so trying to figure out how to rest is tricky. But as he gets older he is able to do more things by himself but he prefers to be with people. For me as an introvert, I crave the solitude. So Sabbath prior looked like hours of reading and naps. I wouldn’t trade him for nothing but I do need to find new ways to rest moving forward. I have found hiking and walking with him restores both of us. I know I need to ask for more solitude and let my husband tag team me out.

It is hard to not work. There is so much that can be done. As I type there are piles all around me. Piles of laundry. Piles of papers on my desk. Piles of random stuff on my dresser. Today is Sabbath for me and I know that writing is a delight so I choose to ignore the piles to write.

I think the key for me to truly rest and find delight in activities I love is to IGNORE. I must ignore:

• the urge to check my email
• the addictive patterns of picking up my phone to check texts
• the unfolded clean laundry on my chair
• my planner
• my uber long to do list (it is comforting to realize we will all die with an undone to do list)
• the dirty dishes in the sink
• the homeschool lessons I need to plan
• the study lesson I need to prepare to teach tomorrow night
• my van that needs cleaning out
• the piles of clutter thorough out the house
• the soap scum line around my bathtub

So in order to enjoy this Sabbath I must ignore what threatens to steal my attention and time. I need to lean into what brings joy like writing, yard work, organizing/decluttering projects (for most this brings dread but brings me delight), napping (proud that I already did this), taking long walks outside, and reading.

When practicing Sabbath was automatic for me, I wondered how others would struggle just taking a few hours to unplug and rest. I am now that person. It truly takes discipline to unplug, rest and have fun. I think we are all more used to disconnecting from work by numbing by scrolling or binging but to truly delight takes looking within to find out what brings joy.