Ever just feel funky all the way down to your limbs/fingertips? And no amount of heavy sighs relieves it?

That is me this morning and I am like what is going on? I thought I woke up relatively happy and grateful. So then I begin to think through my morning/trying to retrace my steps to see where things may have gone south (mind you that it is only 9:30 a.m right now).

I woke at 5:30a.m. That in itself is a miracle that I need to celebrate. A HUGE win for me since I love to sleep. I took the dog for a walk and relished in the fact that I needed a sweater as fall approaches. I came back and went in the garage and did 20 minutes on the elliptical while listening to an audiobook on helping grow gratitude in your family. This practice of combining sweating with a thing I love (reading/listening to books) is a practice I am now fond of.

Ok, so far so good. No funky feelings at all.

I follow that up with 6 minutes of core cause I often look a trimester or two pregnant 😉 and my last baby just entered high school. I am a work in progress and I’d like my current clothes to fit instead of buying new ones. I end my movement time with 5 minutes of relaxing, stretching yoga.

Ok, so far so good. No funky feelings at all.

I then go inside and open several windows to bring in the fresh morning air feeling so grateful that this is possible. I have been places and had seasons where opening a window was not restorative due to high heat or humidity.

Ok, so far so good. No funky feelings at all.

I sit down at my kitchen table with my journal, inspirational daily reading book and my Bible. I am thankful for being up early and enjoying the stillness, silence and solitude. I read and journal some.

Ok, so far so good. No funky feelings at all.

I hope on Instagram to share an encouraging word. But before that I notice what is on my feed. It is inspiring and good so I click her account. I scroll through her stuff for about 10 minutes. I realize why I got on here in the first place and proceed to post my “encouraging thought”. While scrolling my youngest woke up and came downstairs with the sweetest bed head with curls going every which way. He sits at the table playing with kinetic said and begins talking to me. I tell him hold on as I try to finish this “encouraging post”. As I type I recognize the irony of encouraging others online while my little one is before me wishing for my full attention. So I quickly finish, post then hop off. There have been times where I would keep scrolling cause there is such “good” stuff on there but I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a loved one scrolling. Our people are the good stuff.

Ok the funky thoughts starts to come.

The comparing thoughts come.

Wouldn’t it be nice ____________?

Why don’t we do _________ as a family?

But I don’t notice the funk quite at this point. I hope on my phone to check texts. After several back and forth exchanges I notice a weariness in my spirit that translates into a weariness also in my body, hence feeling the funk in my limbs.

I notice the discontent slowly creeping in. I notice the comparing thoughts jumbling around in my head. And I remember this exact feeling the last time I hoped on Instagram.

Last week a loved had sent me a reel of candy experiment thing. Super cool. (P.s days later I went to dollar tree for all the ingredients- huge fail) So naturally I click on the account of the one posting it and start looking for cool ideas. But mixed in with fun kid ideas are images of her huge, fancy house. Then images of her fancy vacations. Her hair. Her make up. Her elaborate crafts and snacks. Her workout routines. And workout reels aren’t complete without seeing bikini pics revealing her hardwork.

That scrolling lead to another reel of getting veneers. (Ps. if you have these- I am not hating. Some have actual need like dental accident etc or that is just your personal choice) But I then felt bad that I had my real teeth instead “reel” teeth. I couldn’t resist the dad joke.

All this took place in about a 5 minute rabbit trail/doom loop. But what started as something seemingly harmless left me feeling like junk. And I thought this was just 5 minutes but how many of us are spending hours of this addicting habit that is not really leading us to a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I then wonder how much time are my teens spending and what is it doing to them? P.s often having this convo with them leads nowhere because they think it is having zero impact. But hello I am a 45 year old woman with lots of emotional coping tools and it is doing this to me!!!

After this decent into comparison hole, I shared with my husband what impact it had on me. I shared how it makes me want to sell it all and live in an Rv with my family in a forest (like someone I follow). Or I feel like I want to do a million other things instead of enjoying what is right before me. It breeds contempt instead of contentment. Normally I love my life. I married my high school sweetheart. I have 4 healthy and kind kids. I have a home. I have clean water. I have A/C ( I can’t be thankful enough for this during the summer). I have money to buy food for my family. This list of good gifts is truly ending. So I want to live in that place of sweet gratitude.

So how do I deal with this FOMO?

• Unplug. This can come in many forms.
• I have one friend who just had a baby and she is hoping off social media for a few weeks.
• I have another friend who leaves her phone upstairs in her bedroom once she gets home from work so she can be present with her family.
• Turn on Mindfulness when needing to focus on a project or to be more present with others.
• Definitely always have notifications turned off (with email, social media, news, etc)
• Wake before your phone. So that means don’t touch your phone first thing in the morning. Use an actual alarm clock so not tempted to fall down a distraction hole. I aspire to not check my phone til the kids and family leave for work and school. I say aspire because I am not there yet.
• Put your phone to bed before you tuck in. This is an ideal and not a reality yet for me. But I would love for my whole fam to plug in and leave their cell phones at 9pm. We have a landline if my teen daughter wants to still talk to a friend or boyfriend.
• Set a time limit if you are going to scroll and notice how you feel mentally and physically afterwards. Like do you have zero motivation to do anything else afterwards? Feel angry? Feel sad? Feel lesser? I find even the positive inspiring reels have the potential to cause me to wish I had another’s life.
• Disconnect: My goal is for one day/24 hour block a week to fully disconnect with the digital world. So for my family that is Friday night to Saturday night. It is my hope to power down my phone, don’t check email or social media. I am also not Amazon shopping or web surfing. I am on my computer now to type this but it is tool for me instead of me being a tool of technology. I hope to do this myself and hope and pray for family will jump on board one day.